Most of the bars on Capitol Hill are filled with staffers, many of whom are under 25 and spend their evenings drinking copious quantities of cheap, bad American beer. I’m fine with that, especially when this behavior leads to female interns, whose underwear choices range from “something really cool that I don't even know about*” to “fuck it, it’s laundry day”, dancing on tables.
Ahem.
Sometimes, however, you want to go to a grown up bar. You know, a bar where you don’t have to play “Name that Puddle.” A bar where it’s apparently unacceptable to tell a woman that you have a prehensile penis**. Lounge 201 fills that niche on the Hill.
As the name suggests, it is a lounge, specializing in martinis. Well, it specializes in things served in martini glasses, which technically aren’t martinis. A martini is made with gin or vodka, vermouth and olives or onions. There is no fruit. Martinis aren’t blue. I think these pansy drinks should be called pussytinis. On the other hand, after 3 or 4 of those, a woman is much more likely to start counting the change in my pocket, which is a bonus.
Anyway, I am told the pussytinis at Lounge 201 are good. And they do make real martinis as well. I usually stick to their fairly impressive, albeit bottled, specialty beer list. As an added extra bonus, on Thursdays the specialty beers are half priced until 9 pm (and $1 off after that). I am a big fan of the Ellie’s Brown ($3 during happy hour) and the Arrogant Bastard ($6 for happy hour, but it’s a 22 oz bottle and it’s 10% alcohol, so that’s a bargain). Last time I was there, I ordered an Arrogant Bastard and one of my friends laughed and said, “Of course.” Not sure what that says about her opinion of me, but I was too drunk to care. If you aren’t familiar with Arrogant Bastard, the side of the bottle reads:
“This is an aggressive beer. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory – maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you are mouthing your words as you read this.”
Did I mention that three bottles of this will get you fucked in half drunk?
The crowd at 201 is oddly variable. On some nights there are gaggles of attractive Hill staffers***, throwing back cocktails and trying to figure out if that cute girl/guy across the bar is the one they hooked up with at that DNC/GOP convention last year. Other nights, things will skew a little older, with couples in power suits whispering in hushed tones over a scotch.
Of course, their business model of only being open Tuesday through Friday is an odd one. I guess they are marketing themselves as an after work bar for professionals. But I’ve been out on the Hill a number of times where I have wished it was open on Saturday.
I’ve also been to a number of private parties there, and it’s a good space for it. I was at a going away party for a friend of mine there. The party was hosted by lobbyists (read: deep pockets/open bar). Because I’m not a dick, I was ordering rail gin, but there were people ordering $100 scotch. After the open bar was over, some guy kept offering to buy me drinks. I made it clear to him that I was neither professionally useful to him nor gay, but this didn’t dissuade him from wanting to buy me $7 beers. I’m pretty sure it’s part of his job description to spend a certain amount of money every month “entertaining.” Must be nice.
I’ll save you a seat at the bar. Until next week,
Dr. D
lttourist@yahoo.com
*Shamelessly stolen from “Old School”
**Not that I have any personal data on this. As far as you know…
***There is a publication which publishes the “50 Most Beautiful People on the Hill” every year. Someone I know said that this was analogous to the “50 Tallest Midgets” so take that for what it is worth.
http://thehill.com/cover-stories/the-hills-50-most-beautiful-2008-2008-07-29.html
--
The Skinny
Lounge 201
Location: 201 Massachusetts Ave, NE
Closest Metro: Union Station
Food?: Yes, but it’s kind of pretentious and not that great. They recently added a bunch of ceviches, which doesn’t really tickle my taint.
Chicken Tender Rating: No chicken tenders. THE HORROR!
Happy Hour Specials: Different special every day. I am partial to half priced specialty beers on Thursdays.
Drunk Tax (how expensive is it for me to get drunk): $20 during Thursday happy hour, $50 otherwise
Dress Code: Business attire to trendy; no flip flops, hats, shorts, or sports attire.
Dancing: No
Sports on TV: There are TVs, but I can’t promise they will be tuned to sports, especially if there is some political asshat speaking somewhere.
Pool Table: No
Darts: No
Other Games: No. Unless you consider, “Spot the Congressman” a game. Which I don’t.
Type of Bar: Lounge/martini bar
Web site: http://www.lounge201.com/index.html
Ahem.
Sometimes, however, you want to go to a grown up bar. You know, a bar where you don’t have to play “Name that Puddle.” A bar where it’s apparently unacceptable to tell a woman that you have a prehensile penis**. Lounge 201 fills that niche on the Hill.
As the name suggests, it is a lounge, specializing in martinis. Well, it specializes in things served in martini glasses, which technically aren’t martinis. A martini is made with gin or vodka, vermouth and olives or onions. There is no fruit. Martinis aren’t blue. I think these pansy drinks should be called pussytinis. On the other hand, after 3 or 4 of those, a woman is much more likely to start counting the change in my pocket, which is a bonus.
Anyway, I am told the pussytinis at Lounge 201 are good. And they do make real martinis as well. I usually stick to their fairly impressive, albeit bottled, specialty beer list. As an added extra bonus, on Thursdays the specialty beers are half priced until 9 pm (and $1 off after that). I am a big fan of the Ellie’s Brown ($3 during happy hour) and the Arrogant Bastard ($6 for happy hour, but it’s a 22 oz bottle and it’s 10% alcohol, so that’s a bargain). Last time I was there, I ordered an Arrogant Bastard and one of my friends laughed and said, “Of course.” Not sure what that says about her opinion of me, but I was too drunk to care. If you aren’t familiar with Arrogant Bastard, the side of the bottle reads:
“This is an aggressive beer. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory – maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you are mouthing your words as you read this.”
Did I mention that three bottles of this will get you fucked in half drunk?
The crowd at 201 is oddly variable. On some nights there are gaggles of attractive Hill staffers***, throwing back cocktails and trying to figure out if that cute girl/guy across the bar is the one they hooked up with at that DNC/GOP convention last year. Other nights, things will skew a little older, with couples in power suits whispering in hushed tones over a scotch.
Of course, their business model of only being open Tuesday through Friday is an odd one. I guess they are marketing themselves as an after work bar for professionals. But I’ve been out on the Hill a number of times where I have wished it was open on Saturday.
I’ve also been to a number of private parties there, and it’s a good space for it. I was at a going away party for a friend of mine there. The party was hosted by lobbyists (read: deep pockets/open bar). Because I’m not a dick, I was ordering rail gin, but there were people ordering $100 scotch. After the open bar was over, some guy kept offering to buy me drinks. I made it clear to him that I was neither professionally useful to him nor gay, but this didn’t dissuade him from wanting to buy me $7 beers. I’m pretty sure it’s part of his job description to spend a certain amount of money every month “entertaining.” Must be nice.
I’ll save you a seat at the bar. Until next week,
Dr. D
lttourist@yahoo.com
*Shamelessly stolen from “Old School”
**Not that I have any personal data on this. As far as you know…
***There is a publication which publishes the “50 Most Beautiful People on the Hill” every year. Someone I know said that this was analogous to the “50 Tallest Midgets” so take that for what it is worth.
http://thehill.com/cover-stories/the-hills-50-most-beautiful-2008-2008-07-29.html
--
The Skinny
Lounge 201
Location: 201 Massachusetts Ave, NE
Closest Metro: Union Station
Food?: Yes, but it’s kind of pretentious and not that great. They recently added a bunch of ceviches, which doesn’t really tickle my taint.
Chicken Tender Rating: No chicken tenders. THE HORROR!
Happy Hour Specials: Different special every day. I am partial to half priced specialty beers on Thursdays.
Drunk Tax (how expensive is it for me to get drunk): $20 during Thursday happy hour, $50 otherwise
Dress Code: Business attire to trendy; no flip flops, hats, shorts, or sports attire.
Dancing: No
Sports on TV: There are TVs, but I can’t promise they will be tuned to sports, especially if there is some political asshat speaking somewhere.
Pool Table: No
Darts: No
Other Games: No. Unless you consider, “Spot the Congressman” a game. Which I don’t.
Type of Bar: Lounge/martini bar
Web site: http://www.lounge201.com/index.html
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