It is very rare that I go to a bar in DC* where my first impression is “Wow, this is different.” Most bars, while fun, are carbon copies of several time tested formulaic designs:
1) Dive bars with over priced drinks
2) Themed bars (e.g. Irish, Latin, sports, etc) with over priced drinks.
3) Upscale bars with very over priced drinks.
Asylum and Russia House** are two bars that break that mold. These are bars where, as soon as you walk in the door, you are actually struck with how different they feel.
Asylum is a metal/biker/goth bar with reasonably priced beers (sort of). They seem to place too much emphasis on cheap beers (High Life drafts and cans of PBR are always cheap), but they also have good beers (e.g. Wolavers Organic Stout) as well.
The décor has a Bram Stoker’s Dracula feel to it. The only thing that would make it creepier would be if Keanu Reeves was studying bartending** for his upcoming Oscar winning performance in the remake of “Casablanca.” But then again I find Keanu creepy in almost any service industry situation.
The soundtrack varies, but unless there is a special DJ, expect lots of metal and old school rap. I am always impressed with the music there.
While they deny being a biker bar, there is motorcycle parking out front and the bar is packed with Harley lovers during certain events (e.g. Rolling Thunder).
Asylum is also known for hosting “alternative” events, such as “jello wrestling”, meet-and-greets with women’s roller derby teams, and “shorts night”, which I was fortunate enough to attend awhile back. Shorts Night encourages women to wear short-shorts. I’m not sure who came up with that idea, but that man deserves some sort of medal. And not the faggy kind that’s mostly ribbon. I’m talking about a metal medal. I think they could step it up a notch by giving away free spa days (waxing, etc) to the woman with the shortest shorts. Although that could backfire: you don’t want a bunch of Sasquatches in short shorts. Ahem.
In addition to bootylicious scenery, I’ve had women whip out their tits**** at the bar, which is always a bonus.
For a bar that looks like it might be the set of a really mediocre porno, the food is actually quite good. Vegetarians rave about their non-meat options, but I usually stick to the burgers or wings. They also serve brunch, which I have not experienced yet. But, it has gotten good reviews.
They may be most famous for their “beat the clock” Saturday happy hour. High Life drafts start at fifty cents at 5 pm and the price goes up 50 cents an hour until 11 pm. Not a bad deal, even if it is only the Champagne of Beers. On a related note, I recently heard someone refer to Moet as the Beer of Champagnes which made me chuckle.
Call in sick for work tomorrow,
Dr. D
lttourist@yahoo.com
*Had I stopped this sentence here, I would have lost any credibility that I may have once garnered.
**Russia House will be the subject of a future review.
***You know, because he’s a method actor.
****OK, I guess in the interest of full disclosure, it was one time and only one tit*****. But still…
*****To clarify, she had two tits, she just only chose to show me one.
The Skinny
Location: 2471 18th St NW
Closest Metro: Woodley Park/Adams Morgan, but Dupont is also walkable
Food?: Surprisingly good bar food with an unnecessary number of vegetarian options. I like meat, dammit!
Chicken Tender Rating: Above average, but not the best thing on the menu
Happy Hour Specials: Monday through Friday $1 off all drinks until 8 pm. Saturday special features 50 cent beers from 5-6pm and continues thru the night with the price increasing a mere 50 cents every hour until reaching it's full price of $3 at 11pm. Food specials vary by day. See website.
Drunk Tax: $30 during happy hour, $40 other times
Dress Code: None, although you might look out of place in a 3 piece suit.
Dancing: Sometimes late night dancing
Sports on TV: No.
Pool Table: Yes (downstairs).
Darts:No.
Other Games: Texas Hold Em on Monday nights.
Type of Bar: Biker bar/dive bar.
Web site: http://www.asylumdc.com/
